Searching for spiritual learning

This morning I brought my mom to church as usual. In front of us, sat a father and his aultruistic daughter. Everyone around them, watch them, I believe in curiosity and saddness for him.

After mass, my mother made a comment on “How poor thing. How ker lian”

The strange thing is I saw them in a totally different light. From what I could see and sense, the daughter’s soul was almost in a constant symphony, where she was playing various instruments, the flute, drums and whatever else took her fancy. There was a sublime joy in the movements and the rythms of her actions. Would not we all love to live a life in joy of doing what we want? In total spiritual and emotional congruence to live in joy and happiness. This was what I saw in the girl. She may never live a normal life as we think she should. She may never be a great composer or musician. She may not even have someone later in life to love her but in her own world, would she find comfort? I dearly hope so.  Although in this life, we ourselves may never see or experience that joy, I think its something we should strive for. Or even if we do see the chance for it, will we let go of what we think people would say of us and simple be in the moment, be in the now and experience the unlimited joy? I hope one day, I will find that thing that will show me this.

 The father show me yet a different side. He was amazingly tender and loving to her daughter. He even greeted all round him with hope and happiness. That surprised me and those around me, most poeple would not want to attract attention if they have a child like that. He didn’t feel that way, I felt he felt proud that he had a daughter no matter what she is. The love he show was astounding, its something that I don’t know if I can even hope to achieve. Limitless and without reservations. All religions want you to have that. But none of them tells you how to achieve that. I hope one day I can learn, from whatever source to love people like that. Unlimited and without reservations. That would be the greatest gift that could be bestowed on me.

Its been a surprising few weeks for me. Been feeling more, been appreciating more been living more.  One of these days I’ll write about the meditation I’ve found recently about being the fountain of love, beacon of love. And how to finally let go of old grudges, old anger, old memories that always seem to resurface, when something similiar happens.

I’ve been calmer and more compassionate lately. I hope that continues to grow.